Every healthy living journey is unique, but dropping weight and keeping it off requires consistency in applying sustainable healthy habits with food and exercise. Duh. We all know this. But an often overlooked thing that can make or break losing weight is how you speak to yourself about the process. In fact, research published in the journal Obesity found people who regard themselves and their journey in a positive way, especially after they ‘fell off the wagon’ were more successful at losing weight than those who may wallow in the discouragement of failure and demean themselves with negative self-talk.
Mental health experts agree that when you tell yourself you’ve failed at something, oftentimes it triggers a backslide or reverting to the bad habits you’re trying to break. If you catch yourself talking or thinking negatively, it’s important to reframe such thoughts to help you get back on track quickly. It’s not just semantics or Pollyanna positivity mumbo jumbo to change your thinking in this way. Doing so supports a more cheerful outlook and reduced focus on the failure.
Following are a few common negative statements you might say to yourself regarding food with some ideas about how to reframe them in a positive way to help you stay mentally fit on your healthy living journey.
“TODAY WAS A BAD EATING DAY”
What is a bad eating day? What is a good eating day? Sounds pretty subjective to me, but this is what we do and it sets us up for failure. Feeling guilt or shame over bad eating days fosters an unhealthy relationship to food. And if the standard for a ‘good’ day is perfection – however you define that – there will be unrealistic expectations and pressure to always be perfect which isn’t healthy either.
Rather than thinking of eating days as good or bad, ask yourself questions like these: How did my food choices align with my healthy eating goals? Which of my eating goals went well and why? Why did I choose against my healthy eating goals, and how can I improve that tomorrow? How have my eating habits improved since last week/ month/ year?
Undesirable behaviors come from bad habits that start with a trigger, so identifying those triggers is key to applying better choices when the triggers strike. Replace negative behavior and thinking with encouraging, positive thoughts to help you choose better in the present moment and in the future. For example, instead of saying “I had a bad day,” you might tell yourself, “I didn’t get enough protein at breakfast because I was tired, which led me to reach for sugary foods.” Next time, “I will go to bed a little earlier and also prepare breakfast ahead of time.” Identifying the problem without guilt and coming up with a solution to be prepared helps avoid future slip-ups.
“THE SCALE ISN’T BUDGING, SO I MUST BE DOING SOMETHING WRONG”
Ugh, I don’t like the scale. Yes, it is a measurement tool that can be helpful. But don’t become slave to it. Physical health is measured more accurately, in my opinion, by other factors like how you feel, what you can do, and how your clothes fit. Being stressed about the scale, which can vary daily and weekly by a number of factors, can further hinder weight loss. Instead of becoming discouraged when you weigh in, remind yourself of all the other positive changes you’re noticing. For instance, “I have more energy to get through my days,” “My clothes fit better,” “I have more confidence,” and “I have more endurance in my workouts.” Focusing on the positives and what you’re doing right makes weight-loss more motivating and enjoyable.
“I TOTALLY MESSED UP, I HAVE TO START ALL OVER NOW”
On any healthy living JOURNEY, one bad day, or even a bad week, is not going to derail your entire progress. Your bad habits or extra weight didn’t appear suddenly but over a long period of time. Correcting that takes time. Remember, this is a journey. Give yourself some grace, and pick up your plan wherever you are. Every day is a fresh start. Fail forward. Keep going. Do your best and forget the rest. An all-or-nothing mentality is not healthy. Let it go.
“I REALLY SHOULDN’T BE EATING THIS”
Fad diets have programmed us to believe there is good food and bad food. Yesterday the popular diet said to eliminate fat. Another says to eat all the bacon and beef you like. Cut carbs. No, eat carbs. Fruits are sugar, so restrict fruits. Good grief. A healthy nutrition plan doesn’t have to cut out anything completely. There needs to be some allowance for food ‘indulgences’ or we will go insane, am I right? Rather than shaming yourself for choosing a food, understand the occasional treat is part of a healthy relationship with food.
In the BODi nutrition plan called 2B Mindset, we are taught to ask the question, “Do I need this eating opportunity?” And when it comes to special indulgent treats we think, “Bite to taste.” If you do make the conscious choice to eat a treat, start with a small portion and enjoy it to the fullest. Give your full attention to the flavor, texture and smell with each bite. Savor the food slowly and be as present as possible. Enjoying the delicious treats is a spice of life, amen? Depriving yourself fully is recipe for failure. Remind yourself to look at the bigger picture. Target to eat healthfully 80-90% of the time, so you can fully enjoy indulgences the remaining 10-20%.
“DOES THIS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?”
There is no good answer to this question, especially if you’re a man being asked by your special woman. Don’t even ask it. The problem is this kind of language reinforces the bad habit of prioritizing your weight and appearance as your identity. Hitching your identity to how you look is not healthy. Instead, ask yourself how certain clothes make you feel. Think about the material, colors and fabrics, plus how energized you feel after putting on a certain piece. Consider how the clothes complement your eyes or hair, or whether the garment serves it’s intended purpose for you.
Special thanks to Emily Abbate for doing the heavy lifting on this article. Emily has written for GQ, Self, Shape and Runner’s World (among others). As a certified personal trainer, run and spin coach, she’s often tackling long runs or lifting heavy things. In addition to that, she’s working on Hurdle, a podcast that talks to badass humans and entrepreneurs who got through a tough time —a hurdle of sorts— by leaning into wellness.
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