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Fortitude

Delayed Gratification

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I recently read a classic book – “The Road Less Traveled” by M Scott Peck MD, and right out of the gate he says, “Delaying gratification is a process of scheduling the pain and pleasure of life in such a way as to enhance the pleasure by meeting and experiencing the pain first and getting it over with. It is the only decent way to live.”
So what?
So do the hard things first and get them over with. Early morning exercise? Yep. Fill up on veggies before cookies? Yep. Work on budget forecasting before sorting email? Ugh, yep. #preachingtomyself
Generally speaking, we expect a quick fix to everything, particularly with our health/ fitness. That’s why the latest pills, potions, magic water, etc. sell like crazy. They promise the quick fix with no effort on our part. We are unwilling to delay the gratification of achieving optimum health by doing the work and eating right. We want it now! NEWS FLASH: pills, potions, get-fit-quick schemes don’t work long term. Ever.
If you want to be your best self in any part of your life, you need to do the work. Period. Short cuts and easy buttons don’t work long term. #theend #offmysoapbox #firstthingsfirst

faith, Family

The Genius of Pain

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Pain Concept.

Our bodies are incredible. Consider for a moment what your body does that you don’t even think about. Breathing, digestion, circulation, healing, etc. I don’t have to get all sciency to prove it. We are incredible machines. One part about our body that doesn’t seem awesome, however, is pain. No one likes pain.

Pain is a pain.

But pain serves an invaluable service. Pain tells us that something is wrong. We should pay attention.

There are lots of different kinds of pain. Obviously there is physical pain. There is also emotional/ mental pain. Pain in our mind or heart can lead to physical ailments. Think stress. Mental stress from work, strained relationships, finances, and life can do painful things to our body. Headaches, muscle tension/ soreness, digestive issues, skin irritations, and compromised immunity to name a few. These symptoms are cues to alert us that something is wrong and it needs to be addressed. This is the genius of pain.

I injured my shoulder many years ago in a mountain biking crash. Even though doctors said they couldn’t find anything really wrong with my shoulder, I had intense pain every time I tried to throw. Over the years I saw different doctors and chiropractors who could not identify what was wrong except that I should get more expensive tests and likely have surgery. Instead of pursuing surgery and relief to my pain and the limitations to my life because of the injury, I decided to put up with it. I didn’t really NEED to throw stuff, and besides, many people have far worse problems than a bum shoulder so I shouldn’t fuss over it.

I gave up. I chose to live with the pain and the limitations that came with it instead of dealing with the issue directly. We do this all the time whether we have a physical pain like my shoulder or an emotional/ mental pain of some kind. We assume, “It is what it is;” and suffer through life carrying our bags of pain and burden we were not meant to carry. The emotional burdens of stress, low-grade depression, pent up anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, etc. keep us from reaching our full potential. It doesn’t have to be like that. I want to encourage you that there is a way to relieve your pain. You are not alone.

There is hope.

If you know me at all, you will not be surprised to hear me share that my hope (and the only real solution for pain) is in Jesus. Jesus is the antidote to pain. Whether you believe it or not, God is in control of everything. We are not. Yes, there is pain in this world and in our life. Some pain lasts our entire life and it really stinks. However, since I have entrusted my life to Jesus*, I know that all pain is temporary. My life on earth is just a blink compared to eternity. Knowing with full confidence that my future will be awesome – free from all pain forever, I can endure the pain and trouble of today. And I know that Jesus is always with me and for me to help me get through whatever I’m facing.

If I didn’t believe God is in control and that he has given me all these amazing blessings as gifts for today and all eternity then my pain would be exceedingly horrible. I can have no hope. Or my hope would be foolishly misplaced in something else that could never satisfy the pain.

So here is the bottom line: Pain leads us to Jesus. Pain drives us to find relief and hope for relief of pain and true hope is Jesus. This is the genius of pain. When hope is sought in anything other than Jesus, it will leave us disappointed. The wanting and searching for hope is where addiction comes in. Chasing relief in something we can do, or take, or think, eventually gets us into big trouble. The empty “solution” provides temporary relief at best, so more and more must be done to get more temporary relief and round and round we go. Addiction. Not just drug addiction though. Addiction could be to gambling, porn, high risk activities, hoarding, work, etc. Nothing will really satisfy except Jesus.

I don’t know the pain you live with, but I do know the Great Physician. If you don’t know Jesus, I would love to chat with you about how you can know Jesus today. If you do know Jesus, I encourage you to trust him with your pain. Surrender your pain to Jesus and let him help you. Jesus is near and he knows your pain. He is for you and he is with you always and forever. I had never really thought about pain in this way before. Pretty cool, huh? You’re welcome. Press on!

*Entrusting my life to Jesus means I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I acknowledged to Jesus in prayer that I am a dreadful sinner in need of salvation to bring me into right relationship with the only holy and perfect God to whom I will give account of my life when I die. Without salvation I am condemned to eternity separated from God. Thankfully “For God so loved the world, (you and me) that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in him (Jesus) shall not perish, but have eternal life.” – John 3:16 Salvation is the best gift we could ever receive, but Jesus gives us so much more. You’ll have to receive him to experience it for yourself, but I can assure you that life is way better with Jesus!

Fitness

A Eulogy For Sneakers?

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OK, so forever I’ve said that I’m not a shoe person. And I’m really not. I own less than 10 pair of shoes total. Seems silly to me to have so many shoes. No offense to all the shoe hoarders out there.

HOWEVER, I must admit that I had a hard time letting these 3 guys go. Each pair has a story…lots of stories really. And I kinda grew attached to each pair in their own special way.

Is that weird?

Not that you care, but here is the eulogy
for each.
Red Sauconys O how you loved my feet! So many miles we ran together in the summer of 2015 while training for 1/2 Ironman and moving my family across the state. If not for the blowout on the side and toe and the destroyed sock liner, I could wear you forever. You are my favorite shoes of recent history, the bright red color clashed perfectly with everything I wore. I’m saving the Lock Laces though, so you will be remembered by them.
Dear Scott T2 green machines with your Aero Foam sole that was exceedingly light and cushy for a VERY long time. You helped me through my first 1/2 Ironman back in 2014 and have since been my indoor home workout shoes of choice. You feel like slippers on my feet. If not for the rubber out sole being completely worn off, our relationship could have lasted even longer.
Dear black Adidas with Winterizer liner, you are by far the oldest of this group. I remember picking you out at the store when my son was just a tot. You last helped me train for the spring marathon in 2013 as we logged hard miles in the snow during the winter months in MI. Now that this winter is over, and my feet seem to have grown over recent years, you no longer fit comfortably. It’s been a wonderful 8 years.

Did you really read all that? Then you understand the connection we can have with our special shoes! What are your favorite shoes?

Family

A Husband Has 1 of 3 Choices

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Here’s a little food for thought from Dr. Raymond Force, Christian marriage speaker and coach. I hope it encourages and convicts you as it does me.

A Husband is a Gardener

A husband is a gardener and his wife is a garden. If he fails to take care of his garden, weeds of sarcasm, anger, bitterness, boredom, and resentment will start to grow. It is at that point that every man has one of three choices:

The husband can choose to change gardens by way of leaving his spouse.

Although it is an unscriptural choice, if a man wants to, he can choose to leave his wife. It is not what he signed up for, nor would this choice correlate with the covenant of marriage. But, if providence chooses to leave him to his own devices, he can walk away from his marriage.

The husband can keep his garden, yet grow bitter about the weeds.

I feel that most men in a less than perfect marriage, fall underneath this present category. Instead of making the appropriate changes in their lives, they will stay in the marriage, yet get bitter about the negativite aspects of their wife and the relationship in general. Once this occurs, the man has started down the path of becoming a grumpy, negative husband.

Colossians 3:19 says: “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.”

The Lord gives this command because he is more than aware that a man’s temptation is to live selfishly, yet complain about the bi-product of living in such a manner. His primary weakness is to become disgusted with the very weeds that his lack of love has helped to grow. In my view, this is why many a husband grows into a negative husband.

The husband can start doing what it takes to prevent the weeds from growing in his garden.

Option number three is not only best, but scriptural, and it involves the husband serving his wife as he would his own interests and desires (Ephesians 5:28). Of course, as mentioned in the last point, he can choose to complain about the weeds, but that will do little to further the cause of happiness in his marriage. He will do more to endear success by taking sole responsibility for the state of his garden and serve his wife as he agreed to do when he made a covenant before God and others.

 

I find that many men are short sighted in that they fail to see that their actions have exposed their wives to their emotional vulnerabilities.  When they should have been focusing on the cause, they seem to become embittered about the effect. A failure to reverse this order will be the source of little or no progress in a man’s marriage. It will only serve as an impetus for a lukewarm relationship at best, and it will lead to the man coming across as simply a negative husband.

I have also seen that men will do more to fast-forward the problem solving process if they will ask themselves questions as such: If I had been sacrificially loving my wife from day one of our marriage, would she have ever felt so tempted to act in a negative manner to my behavior? Or, if I had been properly taking care of my garden in the first place, would these weeds of anger, sarcasm, unforgiveness, and resentment even be growing?

Fortitude

If Trees Talked

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I love trees. I’m not a card carrying tree hugger per se, but I do appreciate trees very much. They are beautiful, strong, flexible, and resilient. Their roots hold the ground together. They provide shelter from the weather and homes for birds and critters. They make the air we breathe. They are worthy of respect.

The trees at Hocking Hills State Park spoke to me this week. My family went hiking there for our little spring break vacation. We saw some of the most amazing terrain and some really cool trees.

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This tree reminded me of resilience. Clinging to the edge of the cliff with roots that grip like nothing else, this tree is thriving in it’s precarious position. Many years ago this tree started to grow right here. It did not choose this place, nor could it move away from it. Instead, it made the best of the circumstance and dug its powerful roots into the rock to never let go. Now it is tall and proud and reaches to the sky. Was it disadvantaged? Yes. But it is more resilient than disadvantaged. This tree is telling us to be resilient.

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This giant tree stopped me in my tracks. I nearly fell over backward as I craned my head back to see the top of it. It is so big at the trunk, it would take two of me to wrap my arms around it. With roots anchored deep into the ground, this guy reaches high to the sky before branching out to catch the sun. It needs to reach very high because the canopy of smaller trees around it takes all the life giving sun. It doesn’t stop growing because the other trees are doing the same thing. We can learn from this tree too. This tree tells us to never stop growing. Reach higher. Build a strong base to support the growth necessary to go higher.

Listen to the trees. Trees are cool.