Tag: Fortitude

Fortitude, Personal Development

2021 Team Quadzilla Book List

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How People Change – Allen Wheelis

As one with special interest in mental fitness and human behavior, I expected this book to be right up my alley, based on the title alone. But when I saw it was written in the 70’s, I half expected some really outdated counsel on the topic. Instead the saying, “there is nothing new under the sun” rang true. Many of the thoughts and strategies that we know to be true today about mental fitness, overcoming bad habits, changing behavior, and  achieving goals were written long ago. The author says things like, “…we are what we do, if we want to change what we are we must begin by changing what we do.” (pg101) And one of my favorite ideas on mental fitness is discussed just a paragraph later where Wheelis writes, “Change will occur only if such action is maintained over a long period of time.” This is a short book and easy to read. The sad story about his childhood will make you happy about yours.

Men Who Love Fierce Women – LeRoy & Kim Wagner

Are you a married man? Read this book. Regardless of your wife’s personality, this is a must read. LeRoy is gut-honest about his failures and frustrations as a husband, and in this book he shares realizations that saved his marriage. Be encouraged how to love and lead your wife well even if you are a more quiet and reserved type of guy. This goes on the re-read list for me.

The Death and Life of the Great Lakes – Dan Egan

I found this book fascinating. My son had to read this for AP English and write papers on it, so I thought I’d read it with him. We talked about this one often. It’s US history, politics, agriculture, business, environmental science, and biology all wrapped in one witty and entertaining narrative. Trust me, you have no idea how important or valuable the Great Lakes is to humanity. Or how many times humanity has tried to destroy it. Highly recommend.

The Dichotomy of Leadership – Jocko Willink

Leadership insights from a guy who spent his career leading men in war? Sign me up. I gained more respect for those who lay their lives on the line to protect mine. These guys have relentless pursuit of doing the right things right, communicating clearly, working as a team, leaning on one another, etc. because if they don’t, they die. Jocko shares from his mistakes about what leadership is not. He explains “extreme ownership,” when to act fast and when to pause, and how to care for the people you lead by serving them with humility. Good stuff here.

When Night Comes – Dan Walsh

A winter diversion from my typical “educational” books is this novel about a man with very strange dreams. There’s WWII story to it that is fun to read and Walsh makes you feel like you were there.

Remembering Dresden – Dan Walsh

Another novel because the first one went well for me. This one is also good. Digging deeper into some WWII stuff, Walsh spins a fun mystery with plenty of twists I didn’t expect.

Change Your World – John Maxwell

My friend and John Maxwell Team member Nick gave me this book which is the latest in the John C Maxwell library. Especially in these pandemic times we live in, Maxwell emphasizes the importance of relating to people. We need one another for encouragement, accountability, mentoring, laughing, and helping each other whether in person or not. You and I can change our world when we make the effort to get together. Maxwell shows us how.

The Screwtape Letters – CS Lewis

A classic must read. And re-read. This is a compelling book about the psychology of temptation from the point of view of the devil. So witty and brilliant how Lewis gives us an inside look at conversations the devils must have with one another about how to get humanity off track and keep us from knowing and loving God.

The Lazarus Life – Stephen Smith

My dear friend Jay gave me this book several years ago because it encouraged him. This is my third time through it. If you have (or are currently) endured pain, suffering, and waiting and have wondered where God is in all of it, this book is for you. If you are ready for a real, lasting change – a transformation, then the story of Lazarus is one worth becoming intimately familiar. Smith helps us to “unwrap the grave clothes” of the things that are dead in us and experience the life and freedom for which Jesus has set us free. Experience the love Jesus has for you in and through your pains, your past, your present. This is a book of hope.

Prayers to Start Your Day – Criswell Freeman

One hundred prayers. Each on a single page. A scripture reference for each. A word of encouragement for everyday life. Takes 2 minutes to read, but it can really help you through the day. This belongs on repeat. Think Oswald Chambers and “My Utmost for His Highest” but easier to read and not quite so heavy.

Extremely Loud Incredibly Close – Jonathan Safran Foer

I’m not sure why this book is so popular. It’s dumb. My son had to read it for AP English and write papers on it, so I wanted to read it with him. Honestly, I’m kind of upset that this book is fine for students to read while other “classics” are now cancelled because of their “offensive” content. This book has more offensive content than any classic I’ve ever read. Ugh. I digress. Don’t waste your time on this one.

A Love Worth Giving – Max Lucado

Based on the “love” passage in 1 Corinthians 13, Lucado takes us verse at a time to explain how we should love. It’s a task we can’t do well on our own. Thankfully, God gives us what we need to love well by the power of his Holy Spirit who lives in every believer. Lucado explains that even with the Spirit in us, we will still struggle to love well until we fully understand the amazing love that God has shown to us first.

The Great Divorce – CS Lewis

Like all CS Lewis books, this requires some focus when reading as every word is thick with meaning. This is a story filled with allegory about a bus ride from Hell to heaven. Lewis puts us in the minds of the passengers as they talk about the thoughts we have about both places. I won’t spoil it for you, but suffice it to say, reading it once likely won’t be enough. This will need read multiple times to get all that Lewis means to share with us.

What is a Healthy Church – Mark Dever

A small book that my missionary friend Peter McMillan gave me on his visit this summer. It takes a detailed look at the characteristics of a healthy church. For those who are looking for a church or wondering if they are in the “right” church, this guide can bring clarity. And since the church is made up of people, one could look in the mirror as he reads this book to evaluate how well he’s doing his part as a follower of Jesus and active participant in his church.

Man’s Search for Meaning – Viktor Frankl

This is really 2 books in one. The first half or so is the author sharing his experience in the German concentration camps during WWII. It’s awful to read how people treated each other there, yet also inspiring to hear of the power of the human spirit to endure such hardship. The rest of the book reviews the science of Frankl’s philosophy of psychiatric care in what he calls logotherapy. Where traditional psychotherapy delves into your past and focuses on introspection, logotherapy looks to your future and helps one to focus on a personal meaning to life to drive healing from the mental hurts and hang-ups that keep us from being our best.

I won’t spoil the details, because I think you should read it for yourself, but be prepared to be encouraged and inspired about what you are made of and the future you can have when you live on purpose.

The COACH Model for Christian Leaders – Keith E. Webb

This book is an eye opener for me. Leadership, mentoring, coaching looks very different than I thought, and certainly different from any coaching I’ve received. The leadership skills required to really help people are centered around listening and asking great questions. It’s not at all about having good answers, or any answers for that matter. A well trained coach can help anyone with virtually any problem because the solutions come from the person. The COACH model shows how anyone can connect, relate, and help others with their questions and problems. This inspires me to pursue training in coaching skills so I can be of better help to others.

faith, Fortitude, Personal Development

The Danger of Ambition | Letter To My Son

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I’m sharing a series of “letters” originally written by Vince Miller. I regard Vince as a trusted resource for wisdom and insight on faith and family especially as it pertains to men and fathers. His bio is at the bottom of the post. Look him up. What follows is his work entirely. Vince communicates the messages I want my son to hear in a far more clear and concise way than I could ever say. Consider using these as conversation starters. I encourage you to share these letters with the important men in your life.

Son, most men learn about the dangers of ambition the hard way. 

We never intend to slowly distance ourselves from God, family, or meaningful relationships. We never aim to become evil, manipulative, or narcissistic. We never plan to commit adultery, get divorced, be prosecuted, get fired, or be canceled on social media. But ambition has led to all these results and more.

And for those who have been down these roads and experienced these results, we know the hidden dangers. For some, it begins with seeking a competitive edge. Or for others, begins with a desire to please others who are never satisfied. And others get caught in its trappings by the promise of achievements, notoriety, and prosperity.

So, son, in guarding and forewarning yourself of these dangers, here are some things you must know.

One | Ambition Feeds on Selfishness

“as to zeal, a persecutor of the church…”—Paul commenting on his past as the man formerly known as Saul, in Philippians 3:6

These short words are how Paul identified his former behavior. His zeal was second to none. He was known for his ambition. This was so widely known that his conversion to faith was unbelievable for many Christians.

And when [Saul] had come to Jerusalem, he attempted to join the disciples. And they were all afraid of him, for they did not believe that he was a disciple.—Acts 9:26

What’s interesting about a man’s ambition is not that it’s all bad. Ambition, zeal, and industry are good, as long the object of ambition is not the self. When the ambition focuses on the self, a man will ultimately use others around him to accomplish his own end. They become his means to elevate himself, which has now become his central focus. This is tough to see when at first, but as selfish ambition grows, the effects are far-reaching. And as we discover in Saul’s life, he began using people for his personal advancement. And this process can become so self-serving and devious that deviation from this path can seem unbelievable and impossible to observers.

The dilemma is that there is no end to this progression until the pain of necessary change confronts a man. And depending on how callous and impervious to the pain we’ve become, it might require tremendous pain. Or, like in Saul’s case, we finally have a confrontation with Jesus Christ that knocks us off our feet and onto our knees.

Two | Ambition is Aimless Enticement

I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind.

King Solomon- Ecclesiastes 1:14

Solomon, the wisest and wealthiest man to ever live, has something significant to teach us about the path of ambition. Money. Fame. Success. They are all attractive. Many a man will pursue them. The reason why men seek them is positive short-term gains. But the problem is that the short term gains always fall short. Moreover, the short-lived gains lead to aimless running. Therefore men from one temporary gain to the next. Before long, we look up and see we have been running after purposelessness and aimlessness.

No man wants this. We want the exact opposite—purpose and meaning. And as Solomon discovered, there was only one to find it. And in the final sentences of the book of Ecclesiastes, he tells us how to find purpose and meaning. The path to discovering it is not through human ambition but holy fear. Fear of the One who provides purpose to a man. And this is not aimlessness—this is our aim!

Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind.

Ecclesiastes 12:13

Three | Ambition Compromises Character

And he told her all his heart, and said to her, “A razor has never come upon my head, for I have been a Nazirite to God from my mother’s womb. If my head is shaved, then my strength will leave me, and I shall become weak and be like any other man.”—Samson’s confession to Deliah in Judges 16:17

This confession led to Samson’s fall. But he did not arrive at this moment suddenly. He got there one small decision at a time. His selfish ambition eventually caused him to get closer and closer to the edge of compromise. Until finally, he thought he was impervious to failing. Thus, his ambition clouded his wisdom and exposed his character and, therefore, his life’s mission and purpose.

All human ambition will lead a man to do something that seems stupid. What’s interesting is that at the moment they do it, they don’t think it’s stupid. It’s just another choice in a series of choices that lead to a final and foolish decision. But what this decision reveals is their character. Therefore most men look back at this, realizing how stupid one decision was and the series of smaller decisions that led up to it—that can never be undone but can only be done differently from that point forward.

So what can we do?

Overcoming Ambition

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

Ezekiel 36:26

Instead of surrendering to ambition, great men surrender ambition itself. In the act of surrender, we loosen our grip on what has a hold on us. And we offer it to God. We submit everything our ambitions have been focused on, which is the self, and we give our ambitions and the self to a holy and willing God. Then God, who we now worship—not the self—guides us down a new path focused only on him. 

And the best part is that God does something in this exchange that reignites the male ambition with a twist—it becomes holy ambition. Ambition focused solely on him and his purposes. And in this, we discover that God has a purpose for us and that he wants us to live in out in his character and in his way.

Son, be ambitious. But do not fall for the trappings of human ambition. They are, but folly, and many a man has fallen to its trapping. I love you—Dad.

Vince Miller is an author and speaker to men around the world on topics that include manhood, masculinity, fatherhood, mentorship, and leadership. He has authored 18 different books for men and is hosted on major video platforms like RightNow Media and Faithlife TV. He hosts a weekly podcast, writes weekly articles, and provides daily thoughts from God’s Word all just for men. He is a 27-year ministry veteran and the founder of Resolute a Men’s Ministry Platform that provides bible studies aimed at building better men found at www.beresolute.org. See his latest book and small group study Called to Act: 5 Uncomplicated Disciplines for Men.