Category: Family

faith, Family

6 Qualities of an Encouraging Parent

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Sometimes I find an article that fits Team Quadzilla well so I’m compelled to share it with you. As we approach Father’s Day, I thought this encouragement about parenting was timely. For those who don’t care much for the Bible, I will only ask that you read this anyway because there are some practical ideas to help us be better parents. Enjoy this content from Dr. Eric Scalise.

What is encouragement and why is it so essential for maintaining healthy marriages and families? Encouragement represents positive influence, to literally give courage to someone—not waiting until it’s deserved or asked for, but taking initiative when things are difficult and uncertain. There are many synonyms one could use: to give support, confidence or hope to another; to hearten, cheer, uplift, inspire, motivate, vitalize, embolden, or rally. The impact can be far reaching and often makes a difference when relationships begin to falter. Even the neuroscience gives credence to this dynamic. Criticism and negativity release harmful stress hormones, inhibit concentration, diminish the brain’s executive functioning, and tend to create knee-jerk reactions vs. calm and rational thinking.

The Bible provides a wonderful example of a life fully lived under this principle. His name was Barnabas and there are several lessons we can draw from his story. Here are six worth considering:

1. The first thing about an encourager is that he or she is practical.

Barnabas arrives on the scene in Acts 4:36-37. He was just a regular “Joe” (Joseph, a Levite), but his nature was so uplifting and encouraging, that the Apostles changed his name to fit his character—Bar (the Son of) Encouragement. He sold some land and laid the money at the Apostle’s feet. Here were the leaders of the first century church who were trying to take care of widows and orphans, and what they needed at the time were financial resources—so practical in the moment.

While attending to someone spiritually is always appropriate and helpful, we shouldn’t neglect looking for ways to encourage the people we love on practical levels as well. Perhaps you have heard the saying, “We can become so heavenly-minded, we are no earthly good.” Imagine if your nickname was “husband” or “wife” of encouragement. . .father or mother of encouragement. Sometimes our spouse or child needs a simple hug, an act of service, a helping hand, or an arm around the shoulder that says, “I love you.” Let your encouragement today be practical.

2. Second, an encourager is a risk taker.

In Acts 9:26-27, Barnabas stood up for Saul when no one else believed in his conversion and everyone was still afraid of him. He took a risk when others wanted to reject Saul for his behavior. Love has the ability to look past brokenness and pain, even sinful choices, and still see God at work in the midst of a situation. Loving and caring for someone can be risky and often requires us to be authentic and to move beyond our comfort zones.

Marriage and parenting offer numerous opportunities to forgive when we have been hurt or a sacred trust has been violated. Being open and transparent in a marital or family relationship, especially in sharing thoughts, emotions, hurts, etc., can mean stepping “outside the box.” There are no guarantees that we will be immune from the storms of life on this side of eternity. However, in Christ, risks are frequently overcome with steps of faith. Take a risk today—encourage your loved one by being vulnerable.

3. Third, an encourager is committed.

When Barnabas was sent to Antioch and got among the people, the Scriptures says he began to encourage them with everything he had (Acts 11:19-24). The words describe him as having a “resolute heart.” In the Greek, this is translated as prosthesis kardia, which literally means, “purposed in the will.” This was part of who Barnabas was and his sense of calling.

In the same way, when we walk down the aisle with someone and pledge vows, or choose to bring a son or daughter into the world, we need to be committed as “all in” when it comes to our own role and responsibilities as spouses and parents. In some ways, success can be defined as falling down seven times and getting up eight. Great marriages and great parenting are not created by 50-50 commitments, thinking this represents a whole relationship, but after two people each give 100%. When Cortez landed in the New World, he burned his ships; it signified there was but one direction in moving forward. Find a way to encourage your spouse or a child that indicates you’re all in.

4. Fourth, an encourager is others-centered.

Shortly after arriving in Antioch, Barnabas turned his thoughts toward his good friend, Saul (Acts 11:25-26). He knew he had to share this blessing and not be consumed with his own sense of self-importance. Inviting others into your journey underscores the reality that we were created by God in relationship and for relationship. He never intended for us to be alone and take a solo flight through life.

Marriages and families are composed of individuals who each have their own set of expectations, desires, hopes, dreams, and plans. We all need to grow in the practice of “relational gift-giving.” Here, we can proactively choose to focus on our spouse or child and consider what would bless them, please them, support them, and draw them closer to God. Encourage your loved ones and make this moment, this hour, this day, a celebration of who they are.

5. Fifth, an encourager is available.

While in Antioch, the Lord commissioned and directed the very first missionary journey (Acts 13:1-3). Immediately, Barnabas and Paul made themselves available and were sent out. This implies an ongoing state of preparation and anticipation, a willingness to lay down one’s own ideas, plans, and desires for the benefit of others. Leaders often understand more can depend on a person’s availability before God than necessarily his or her ability.

Making ourselves available to the Lord, as well as to our spouses and children, can open up the doors of opportunity for deeper relationships, ministry, healing, and transformation. For many, time is one of the most valuable commodities in today’s fast-paced world. Sharing it with a loved one is a wonderful gift. It says, “Here I am. . .for you. . .for us. To listen, to care, to serve.” The power of presence should never be underestimated. God can accomplish much in a marriage or family through vessels who are fully yielded to Him. Be an encourager and offer yourself in love.

6. Finally, an encourager is patient.

During the first missionary journey, Barnabas took along his young cousin, John Mark, who later left them in the middle of the trip. On a subsequent journey when Paul suggested they visit all the churches that were started, Barnabas wanted Mark to join them once again. However, Paul accused Mark of desertion and he and Barnabas had such a significant argument, they parted company. Paul took Silas and Barnabas took Mark (Acts 15:36-40). Barnabas remained patient and longsuffering with his cousin.

There are times when loving someone means standing with him or her in the middle of major mistakes and shortcomings. The first descriptor of love is that it is patient (1 Cor. 13). We have all probably heard incredible testimonies that speak to the power of a praying mother. Who will continue believing in, advocating for, and supporting our spouse, son or daughter? Encourage that family member through your unwavering, patient, and unconditional love.

As I close, let us examine the fruit of encouragement. In 2 Timothy 4:11, Paul is imprisoned and in the twilight of his life on the earth. He says, “Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry.” Later, in 1 Peter 5:13, when writing to the believers who were scattered because of persecution, Peter says, “She who is in Babylon, chosen together with you, sends you her greetings, and so does my son Mark.”

Even though we hear very little about Barnabas or Mark after they parted company with Paul, these verses reveal that somewhere along the journey, this young disciple “made it.” The one who had failed miserably, moved into a place of responsibility and maturity. Here, we see the two preeminent Apostles of the first century who are strongly supportive and complimentary of Mark—Paul saying he was useful to him and Peter referring to him as a son in the faith. God Himself allowed Mark to write one of the four Gospels. Although Scripture is largely silent on the matter, I believe the fact that Mark was able to work through whatever issues he had, was because Barnabas refused to give up on him and was willing to stick it out during the long journey.

You potentially may be the most influential person in your spouse’s or child’s life. . . in the best position to support, pray for, believe in, and journey with him or her in all the ups and downs. The gift of encouragement is within you right now. May the outcome be as equally transforming as it was for John Mark.

Family, Fortitude, Personal Development

Why Am I So Angry?

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By Wanda Walborn

Violence levels are on the rise in our nation and world, and the Church is not exempt from its impact. As those who love God, how do we address anger as a natural part of our soul care and then help others diffuse the anger in their lives too? There are many forms of anger, so don’t be too quick to assume that you are not an angry person.

Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure and antagonism aroused by a sense of injury or wrong. Healthy anger can act as a powerful force for producing change in our lives at every level. It can be a gift that signals things are not OK.

What Does the Bible Say About Anger?

There are three types of anger mentioned in Scripture. The first type includes a stewing or festering that brews just below the surface and doesn’t come out. The Greek word for this type of anger is parogismos used in Ephesians 6:4, exhorting fathers to not provoke their children to anger.

The second type of anger occurs when something important to you is threatened or damaged. The Greek word is orgizo used in Ephesians 4:26—“Be angry (orgizo), but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger (parogizo) and give no opportunity to the devil.” Paul is saying to feel the anger but not to sin by refusing to deal with the festering anger below the surface, which gives the devil a place in your life.

The third type of anger is what Galatians 5:20 refers to as “outbursts of anger” or “fits of rage.” The Greek word is thymos, or rage, which passionately erupts and then cools down quickly, whereas the orgizo is indignation that gradually builds and settles in.

Five Signs of Indirect Anger 

Many people don’t think they have a problem with anger but are sarcastic, passive aggressive, numb, depressed, or apathetic. Each of these expressions is an indication of indirect anger.

1. Sarcasm

The word sarcasm means “tearing of flesh.” It is intended to cut a person but is covered with a façade of humor.

2. Passive aggression

Passive-aggressive people pretend everything is fine. Then they say things to others, often acting like a victim, to get other people to confront or speak for them, because they can’t approach the person with whom they have a problem. This type of manipulation is calculated and driven by anger.

3. Depression

Depressed people turn their anger inward rather than choosing to express it outwardly. In an attempt to keep the peace, they push down all negative feelings to avoid hurting the people around them.

4. Numbness

People who feel numb have shut down emotionally to survive. Long-term chaotic or abusive situations cause them to close off emotionally to cope. They no longer feel joy or pain. They live in a constant state of numbness, and their anger has become frozen.

5. Apathy

Apathy is a sign that passion and hope are gone. Not caring is the only way a hurting person endures the pain. Apathy is a logical conclusion to an emotional issue. Rather than caring and feeling continual hurt, fear, or powerlessness, a person chooses not to care so he or she can function in everyday life.

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Imperfect Parent

In 1992 I became pregnant with our fourth child. My anger toward the other three children surpassed the usual irritations or annoyances of typical childish behavior, and I found myself overreacting to almost everything they did.

If they spilled their drinks at the table, I went into a rage. If they started whining at the grocery store, I would take them into the bathroom or car and spank them. They were just tired and needed compassion, but what they got was frustration and an anger that forced them into unhealthy obedience. I felt disrespected, humiliated, and exposed as a bad mother because they wouldn’t listen to me, and I used my power to make them pay.

As I look back now, I realize I felt shame over their behavior. It makes no sense that I expected an 18-month-old, 2-year-old, and 4-year-old who were tired and hungry to handle a long day that ended at the grocery store without complaint. But I did. My parenting revolved around what other people would think and not about what my children needed.

This feeling of shame intimidated me into silence, and it wasn’t until I heard a sermon at church that it was OK not to be OK that I felt a dam burst inside of me. I finally determined to be honest about my feelings and seek the help I needed.

When I told my husband about my over-the-top behavior toward our children, he initially passed my anger off as just a reaction to a bad day. I continued to confess to him my actions toward the children when he wasn’t around to show him how bad it really was. Thankfully, he didn’t respond with more shame but encouraged me to talk with our senior pastor (the one who preached the sermon about not being OK), and I began to meet with him and his wife for the next four months to deal with the root of my anger instead of the symptoms.

The interesting part of the story is that my husband was the associate pastor of the same church. I was a pastor’s wife and treated my children that way. How shameful! I believed the lie that I should be perfect as the pastor’s wife; therefore, my children should be perfect too.

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What’s Under the Anger?

During my prayer counseling sessions, I learned of six emotional causes underlying anger. Anger is what presents itself to others, but the primary emotion is underneath the anger. Understanding these six causes helped me identify the hurt and deal with it.

1. You’re afraid.

Fear can be a strong emotion causing people to feel weak, vulnerable, and powerless, so they rise up in anger to push people away and regain a sense of control. The rush of adrenaline that accompanies anger makes a person feel strong and hides the hidden terror.

2. Your opinion is invalidated.

Everyone wants to be heard whether in a business meeting or at the dinner table. A person’s opinion is simply his or her viewpoint on a topic. To criticize someone’s viewpoint or, worse yet, ignore the person completely, can cause anger. This is often seen in autocratic homes where one parent is always right and children aren’t allowed to have different opinions.

3. Your way is blocked.

This attitude is where road rage stems from—“Get out of my way!” Whether a person’s car is cut off on the freeway, or the budget is cut dissolving the business plan, or a 2-year-old is told no, anger results. It is probably the most volatile of all the underlying causes because it erupts spontaneously.

4. You’re hurt.

When a person is hurt, the offense is either turned inward, leading to despair or depression, or turned outward, leading to anger and bitterness. When turned inward, the person seeks to contain the anger by taking it out on him/herself, and self-rejection and self-hatred results. Turning the hurt outward can lead to blame and seeking revenge toward the person who hurt you. The healthy response to hurt is to feel the sadness, loss, and pain of the wounding.

5. Your personhood is attacked.

Name calling and inappropriate comments about your gender, ethnicity, sexuality, or beliefs fit this category. Oftentimes, these comments are made sarcastically or with a joking tone to get a laugh. Outwardly people might smile or play along, but inwardly the very core of the person has been touched, and it hurts.

6. Your expectations are unmet.

The angry person flies off the handle because of an unfulfilled expectation that is never spoken to the person receiving the anger. The angry person assumes the expectation is obvious, so he or she doesn’t need to communicate it directly. It should just be known. This happens in any relationship with assumptions and poor communication.

Anger leaves a wake of pain. The next time you get angry, pause for a moment and sift through these six areas to identify the underlying cause of your anger. It can help you communicate clearly and avoid many arguments and disagreements in your relationships.

How Do I Get Rid of My Anger?

We can’t rid ourselves of anger because it is an emotion; however, we can learn to appropriately deal with the real issue underlying the anger so it doesn’t fester or spew in unhealthy ways to hurt people around us. Here are five ways to self–check your anger level for your personal soul care.

1. Acknowledge the way in which anger generally surfaces in your life—aggression, passive-aggressiveness, sarcasm, numbness, apathy, depression, or rage.

2. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you identify the underlying issue as the source: fear, invalidation, blocked goals, woundedness, attacks on your personhood, or unmet expectations.

3. Ask for help so you don’t suffer in silence. Telling a close friend, spouse, or counselor about your anger disarms its power in your mind.

4. Grieve the loss accompanying the pain to process all the feelings surrounding the incident.

5. Choose to forgive the offender. Forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation for those who have hurt you and may not ever involve a conversation with the other person. Rather, forgiveness eliminates bitterness from forming in your heart to torment you and cut off intimacy with God and those you love. Satan is a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Let us not allow our unresolved anger to be the entry point of our destruction.

It’s been 24 years since I came clean with my husband and began to deal with my anger in a healthy way. I still feel anger, but it doesn’t control me as it once did. You too can be free from anger’s grip. Go beneath it and diffuse it. 

faith, Family, Fortitude, Personal Development

How to Stop Worrying

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I recently woke up inspired to write the following journal entry. I hope it encourages and challenges you as it does me.

Worry says, “God is not big enough.” This is a terrible accusation for the Ultimate Creator of the universe who holds all things in this mighty hand. There is a pride and selfishness in worry that we don’t recognize. When we worry, we assume the burden only for ourselves. No one, not even God, can help us. “I must bear it all alone,” is the message we tell ourselves. Boo-hiss!

You, O Lord have saved us from our sins. Your promises are certain, you never fail. You tell us to cast our cares upon you, to take your light & easy yoke upon us, to trust you in everything, because you love us even more than we could love ourselves.

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When we worry, it should send a signal to our hearts that there is something to surrender to the Lord. The work of surrender should be our task – not the enduring or solving the thing we worry about. The surrender is the real work though. We must conquer our mind which wars against surrender and favors of our natural carnal survival instinct.

To be clear, surrender is not “giving up.” Not even close. I think of it more like a transfer of burden from me to God. Don’t we all want some help with our burdens?

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Worry is often an unreasonable fear, in my opinion. Fear of the unknown, fear of the future. Remember being a kid when your parents made you try something new? It was scary at first, but since you trust them, you eventually go for it. Inevitably, it turns out great. So much fun, so much easier, so good, so tasty, etc. As parents we do the same for our kids too. We want the best for them. We want them to experience all that is good and enjoyable in the world. So why do we not trust God to do even more for us? Have we forgotten that God is our Heavenly Father and we are his beloved children?

Also, have you noticed how many times we worry over things that NEVER happen? We worry about the “what ifs” and we come up with some crazy ones, don’t we? Well, stop it. God wants the best for us and he actually knows the future. We should trust God and surrender our worry to his capable hands. #preachingtomyself

The antidote to worry is trust. Trust is only as good as the object for which the trust is placed. We have a choice to make in the face of our worry. Will we choose to trust ourselves and our lousy capacity to predict the future, or will we trust in God who knows everything and is in control of everything?

I understand that trusting in God is not easy. Denying ourselves is the opposite of our human nature. I often wrestle with surrendering to God. I’m convinced that my way is better. After I fall on my face, I realize that God’s way is always best. It might be hard to deny myself and trust God, but it is always best. Honestly, it is such a great relief to leave the “worrisome things” to God. It’s the best stress reliever.

FAST FORWARD 2 WEEKS

God has a funny way of making these type of life lessons come to life in real time for me. As I’m preparing this article, I get tested with some pretty stressful work situations. Instead of practicing what I’m writing about, I revert to my old nature and experience high stress with all its symptoms – exhaustion, irritability, upset stomach, loss of appetite and stress eating at the same time (yeah, that really happens to me), anger, depression, etc. Yuck. After a few days, I calmed down enough to realize what I was doing and made a mental adjustment. I transferred my burden to the Lord. Just as he promises, everything changed in my outlook. The circumstances haven’t changed, but my attitude and mindset did. Praise the Lord! The chains of the stress are gone and I am free to be my very best through the circumstances. #workinprogress #underconstruction

For some of you, these concepts about God may seem foreign or even offensive to you. You may have ways to cope with your worries that don’t involve God, and would say I’m weak or crazy. Maybe so. But I’m willing to bet that someday your way will not work, and whenever your Jedi mind trick or destructive behavior you try leaves you still looking for answers, remember this: The truth is that God loves you more than you could ever know, and His great desire is for you to know Him and experience all the freedom, peace, and good that comes with a personal relationship with God. I would love to talk with you about how you can enjoy freedom from worry through a personal relationship with the God of the universe.

     “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due          time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:6-7

faith, Family

6 Truths About The Role of Moms

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“All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” Abraham Lincoln 

“Only God Himself fully appreciates the influence of a Christian mother in the molding of character in her children.” Billy Graham 
“My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.” George Washington

Mother. Every time a child is born – so is a mother. It has often been said that in that one moment when a mother sees her newborn child for the first time, nine months of discomfort and the hours of pain and delivery are completely forgotten. An innate eternal bond is instantly formed that transcends and eclipses all other relationships.

The word “mother” is used nearly 300 times in the Bible, and Strong’s Concordance tells us that the word literally means “an intimate relationship… that bestows benefits on another.” 

M-O-T-H-E-R. When thinking about how to describe those benefits bestowed on us by our mothers, this acronym gives us just a glimpse of the depth of who she is.

Mom. The proverbial “first word” of an infant often sounds like “ma” or “mama”. This strong association of that sound with “mother” has persisted in nearly every language on earth. Mum in the United Kingdom. Mam in the Netherlands. Mata in India. Even Mama in Chinese. No matter how big, or fast, or powerful an athlete is, when they look into the camera what do they always say? “Hi mom!” Affection and love poured out in one simple word – “mom” – no matter what the language.

Others. When you really think it through, many mothers work as many as 90 hours a week. Their job description defies logic. A loving hand on a skinned knee. Miles and miles of taxi service. Applause from the 3rd row of the 2nd grade school play. Tears of joy at graduation – whether it is from dance class or college. Dishes…diapers…drama…discipline. Duties all selflessly performed by the person we affectionately call “mother”.

Teacher. Solomon admonishes us to “forsake not your mother’s teaching”(Proverbs 1:8 ESV). He goes on to say that those teachings are “a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck” (Proverbs 1:9 ESV). Life changing lessons taught during late night talks that shape our character for the rest of our lives.

Honor. The first commandment ever given with a promise was “honor your father and mother” (Ephesians 6:2 ESV). Why? “That it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land” (vs 3). The word honor literally means “weighted value”. We are to deeply honor and profoundly value our mothers – and in turn God promises blessings poured out on our lives.

Encourager. Your greatest cheerleader will always be your mom. No matter what. Through thick and thin. Good and bad. Laughter and pain. I am reminded of the instruction Paul gave when he said “encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all” (1 Thessalonians 5:14 ESV). Sounds like what a mom does all of the time!

Relationship. What’s interesting is that of the seven phrases Jesus uttered on the cross, one of them was directed to the person who gently pushed Him into public ministry (John 2), and searched frantically for Him when she thought He was lost (Luke 2). She stood with Him at Calvary when virtually everyone else deserted Him. Jesus acknowledged her, and provided for her, even during His tortuous death on the cross of salvation. “When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold, your mother!’ And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.” (John 19:26-27 ESV). A relationship begun in a manger… confirmed in a miracle… and declared even in mourning. Mother.

My friend Ann Voskamp eloquently puts it like this; “God said ‘I need someone who can shape a soul and find shoes on Sunday and get grass stains out of Levis. Someone with a heart strong enough for toddler tantrums and teenage testing, yet broken enough to fall on her knees and pray, pray, pray.’ So God made a mother.”

Life didn’t come with a manual – it came with a Mother.

This Mother’s Day, love her. Cherish her. Honor her…that it “may go well you and that you may live long in the land.” 

It just might turn your life – and hers – around. – Dr. Tim Clinton via www.drjamesdobson.org

faith, Family

A Society At War With Adulthood

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Following is an article written by Dr Raymond Force. I thought it was worth sharing in its entirety. There are several “truth bombs” in here that deserve contemplation. I’d love to hear your feedback, so please comment at the bottom. 

It was just a few months ago that I heard the word “adulting” for the first time. I have to be honest. I was a little taken aback with its mere existence. That is, the very presence of the word should speak volumes to us in that if we even need such a word, then we obviously have some sort of struggle taking place with achieving its status. 

 

Pastor, Counselor, Coach, Or Dad? 

 

I say it all the time. I am not a pastor, counselor, or a marriage coach as much as one who seems to take on the fatherly role of teaching people lessons they should have learned years ago. Whether the lessons involve getting along with a spouse, securing peace in our souls, managing time, or making money, I feel more like a father than a coach in that many seem to be stuck between the ages of 13 and 20.

 

 The Battle With Adulthood 

 

Within the last few years, I am finding more and more people that seem to be at war with adulthood. That is, they seem to be in a perpetual battle with either acting like an adult or learning to enjoy the responsibilities that come with adulthood. Below are just a few of the aspects of adulthood with which many seem to battle: 

 

Becoming Principled-Driven 

 

If you are guided by simply your emotions, you are not an adult. Of course, emotions are important and God-given, but they are to be the car behind the engine as feelings make a marvelous caboose, but a lousy locomotive.

 

In chapter 3 of our marriage book, How to Fight for Your Marriage Without Fighting With One Another, I discuss how feelings make a very poor marriage counselor. We also discuss how with many a couple, the true god of their marriage is their feelings instead of God the Father. This is always an issue because no marriage will ever rise any higher than its true God or god. 

 

A Giver Instead Of A Taker 

 

Manhood did not come my way until I started to wake up thinking about God, my marriage, and my children first. Of course, I believe in what Matthew Henry calls the law of self-preservation, but keep in mind that the best way to secure joy is always to give opportunity for others around you to enjoy the same. This is why Jesus said it is more blessed to give than to receive. 

 

Loving Sameness 

 

I find that what keeps most people from consistently showing up in marriage, church life, and business is sameness, that is, doing the same thing at the same time and in the same way. However, it should be noted that children grow weary of the mundane. Adults, on the other hand, find purpose and joy in even the most mundane of tasks.

 

God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He changes not, and there is no variableness with Him (James 1:17). Without God’s sameness, we would all perish as the sun would halt and the fields would refrain from yielding crops. It is amazing, however, how we want God to be more faithful to us than we are willing to be to Him and, especially, for Him.

 

Marriage, parenting, building a business, establishing a career, and learning a trade all require the ability to keep showing up. However, if a person is internally at war with consistently dealing with the same environment and the same people, then, in my opinion, they are at war with adulthood as 90% of success is having the ability to keep showing up. 

 

Loving Work 

 

There is a great life skill in learning to love what you despise. Now, I have to admit that I love my job, but there are a few things to consider even in this: 

 

1. I have to do a lot of things that I don’t necessarily like to do to be able to do what I love to do.

 

2. I did not get to this point overnight. In fact, I bet I could almost beat anybody if we had a contest for how many jobs or business ventures in which a person has been involved. 

 

Embracing Drudgery 

 

People that love practice more than the game, excel. Those that want the event more than the process fade away.

 

Success requires embracing the process and learning that the process can be just as rewarding as the destination. 

 

Working Well With Others 

 

Mark it down. Selfish people are always surrounded by conflict, and selfishness is one of the main characteristics of children.

 

Proverbs even deals with this in that it teaches that “when a man’s ways please the Lord, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him.” (Proverbs 16:7) 

 

Facing The Giants Of Life Head On 

 

Adults face their problems head-on. Children run, escape, and hide.

 

In our day of escapism, it is important to face our problems without the escape hatches of excuses, blame, alcohol and drugs, illicit behavior, or fantastical thinking. Be brave. Face your problems head-on by the grace of God. God will make a way, and you will find that there is no such thing as a wasted experience. 

 

You Don’t Get A Cookie For Being An Adult 

 

Herein lies my main beef with the presence of the word “adulting”. The words seems too often be used by people that want a cookie for doing things that should be what I feel are no-brainers.

 

Sorry, but getting up early, going to work, doing laundry, eating healthy, and balancing the budget are just a part of life. They do not deserve any special attention on social media nor from anyone around you. These things are not what adults do as much as they are what people have done for thousands of years without any expectation of a supposed prize. 

 

On a further note, while we as a western society give emotional medals for showing up and doing the most basic of tasks, other countries are dominating us in the business world.

 

If our highest goal is just to be at work instead of excelling at work, then we are doomed for disaster as a people group. The rest of the world will not be politically correct and stay behind their borders. They will overtake us before too long and we will no longer be the exceptional people we once were.

 

Jesus said, “When ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do.” (Luke 17:10)

 

I feel this verse in intriguing in that Jesus is not handing out gold stars for doing the most basic of exercises. Jesus is teaching that there are certain basic duties that should need no reward. 

 

The Real Problem 

 

The real problem is not laziness, a lack of toughness, or a lack of perspective. In my estimation, these all miss the mark. The real issue is that we have not allowed God’s adult-like characteristics to benefit our souls. When this occurs, we in turn lack the purpose and the internal strength to be as adult-like as our Heavenly Father.

 

When I was a young man, I loathed speeches and articles like the one I am writing. I only despised them because my problem was not a lack of want-to as much as it was a lack of power and purpose in my life to implement what I knew to be right.

 

To be very frank, once I started to truly fellowship with my Heavenly Father, my power-to started to become parallel with my want-to. Then and only then was I able to truly start acting like the adult God was calling me to be. 

 

The Irony Of It All 

 

The irony of this entire article is that I am able to act like an adult because I keep a child like attitude inside of me. I believe I am able to do this mainly because I sense the presence of my Heavenly Father (John 14:21-23). This allows me to enjoy the little things of life, sleep in peace, view my life as a story that He is writing, believe in happily ever afters (especially in eternity), find humor in areas where others only see seriousness, and let God fight my battles.

 

Every child is born with a light in their eyes, but I have found that life has a way of blowing it out. My readers will do well to keep a sacred place within themselves that no one else can touch. God calls it the soul, and in that place you will never regret having a place where you can spiritually run and play on His playground of prayer and meditation.