teamquadzilla

Quit To Win

December 23, 2020November 3, 2020 teamquadzilla

The common messages we hear all the time when it comes to winning at life include, “Never quit,” and “Don’t give up.” It’s the American way, right? Work hard. Do more. Be stronger, smarter, more wealthy, more fit. The pressure to measure up is intense, and the busyness such winning demands is exhausting. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I wonder if it’s really worth it.

So what should I do?

One idea has occurred to me recently that I’ll share with you here. Instead of striving so hard to never quit, never give up, and knock myself out to get what I believe I want, maybe I should just quit. Yeah, that’s right. Sometimes you need to quit to win at life. I’ll explain.

Striving to be a better human and quitting are two sides of the same coin. Certainly there are things we can and must do to live to our full potential, so don’t get me wrong. Self-control, self-discipline, loving well, doing what is right even when it’s hard, are all very necessary beliefs/ behaviors/ habits we need to work on. But there are also many things we must quit if we are to be the person God has made us to be and to live with the inner peace, joy, and fulfillment we all seek.

Following are some examples of things to quit with some personal examples. This is me preaching to myself. I hope this helps you as well. I have a list of things to quit, so I’ll share them a few at a time over several articles in what I’ll call the “I Quit” Series.

I quit believing the lies I tell myself

You know the little voice in your head that tells you all sorts of negative things about yourself. This voice tells me that I’m not good enough, I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m stupid, I’m ugly, etc. Everyone has this voice and it knows what buttons to push to make us feel inadequate, afraid, lost, depressed, worried, sad, etc. The truth is that it’s easy to let the world knock us down and believe these lies. We live in a world of brutal comparison, and we are very often our own worst critic. At least I am mine. So while I realize this is a battle to be fought daily, I must still choose to quit believing these lies.

How? Well, for the Christian, it starts with knowing and believing who God says I am. The Bible is filled with encouragement and affirmation about how God sees me, how he loves me, and how he has great plans for me that are in stark contrast with the messages I get from the media, popular culture, or toxic people I interact with. My solution is to replace the negative voice in my head with positive inputs I read in the Bible and other trusted resources. I choose to listen to music with positive and encouraging messages and sing along when I feel attacked. I will reach out to a friend to lift me up when I’m down. I will take care of myself with healthy food, exercise, and rest because body and mind are intimately connected. I’m in control of my response when the voice condemns me. I’m choosing to quit believing the lies I tell myself.

I quit worrying about what others think of me

News Flash: People don’t think of me as much as I think they do. That’s right. People are not judging me as harshly as I judge myself. They simply don’t care. They don’t have capacity to care what I am doing because they have their own worries. I know this because I do it myself.

Honestly, do you really care what someone is doing or what they look like in public? In most cases, when you screw up, dress funny, behave oddly, etc., especially in public, most everyone else is just thinking, “Meh.”

But what about the people I am closest to? To a greater degree, I care what they think of me, and they probably have more opinions about me. (Hello, awkward family gatherings.) But even with loved ones, I’m likely to have a harsher perception of what they think of me than they actually do. And even if a loved one doesn’t think much of me, it doesn’t mean that is who I am. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I still get to choose if I agree with it. So I’m going to take back the power I gave to others to shape my value and identity and quit worrying about what others think of me. I’m going to just be me in the very best way possible. Do my best and forget the rest.

I quit doing what I’ve always done that hasn’t worked

A person needs to be a bit introspective to deal with this one. It’s not easy. We all have our blind spots, where we don’t even recognize that we are believing and behaving in self destructive ways. With a little sober self-assessment, I’m certain everyone can identify something in their life that looks a lot like insanity. Really Chad? Yep. Of course we know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result. In a way, this is another way to define a bad habit. The bad habit can be a behavior, attitude, or even a mindset about something. We all have bad habits, right? Something we need to quit in order to be our best? Something bad we keep doing but expect a good result? Of course we do. That’s a driving force behind me writing this series. I’ve identified several bad habits, things I need to quit, and I’m confessing them here. What about you?

I want different results. I know the only one holding me back is me. I know that growth requires resistance and that is uncomfortable. I know that if nothing changes, nothing changes. So I’m going to stop being insane and pick off these bad habits slowly and surely, one at a time.

Fitness, Nutrition

6 Appetite-Control Strategies to Curb Overeating

December 9, 2020October 28, 2020 teamquadzilla

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It can be hard not to overeat. You eat a healthy meal at home, think you’re doing well, then you head out (to almost any destination) and are surrounded by junk food. You get hungry, and pretty soon you’re at the local burger joint, diet forgotten.

Or maybe you stick to the “right” foods, but they’re just so good that you can’t have just one portion. We’ve all been there.

The following six strategies can change the game for you. Give these a try and see if you feel healthier, enjoy your meals more and find it more difficult to overeat.

1. ADD VINEGAR AND CINNAMON TO MEALS TO CONTROL BLOOD SUGAR

Looking to add some flavor to your food and noncaloric drinks? Forget the sugar; there are plenty of spices and flavors that will make your food both tastier and healthier. Vinegar, which has been shown to lower the glycemic index (which means you metabolize the food more slowly), adds acidic flavor to salad dressings, sauces and roasted veggies without a lot of calories.

For sweet-smelling warmth, add cinnamon to everything from coffee and smoothies to chili. Like vinegar, cinnamon slows the rate at which food transits from your stomach to your intestine — this keeps you full longer, and helps prevent the post-meal slump.

2. EAT WHEN YOU’RE NOT HUNGRY

When you get really hungry, you overeat. Duh, no kidding. When you overeat, you feel full, but then your insulin levels spike, causing you to feel tired, then hungry again … so you overeat again.

Instead of trying to resist hunger, beat it to the punch. If you eat when you’re either not hungry or only slightly hungry, you’ll eat less and tend to eat more slowly. Eating less throughout the day is great, but having more energy is certainly a nice bonus, too.

3. DRINK WATER, NOT LIQUID CALORIES

In addition to tiredness and brain fog, mild dehydration can cause a sensation that’s easily mistaken for hunger. On the other hand, liquid calories such as juices and sodas don’t fill you up, and their rapid digestion causes insulin spikes. So pass on the sweetened drinks and stick with sparkling or still water — you can flavor it with lemon, strawberries or cucumber if you want, but don’t pack your drinks full of calories.

There’s much debate about how much water you should drink. A good rule of thumb is to aim to drink about 1/2 your body weight in ounces of water a day – even more if you do intense exercise. Also, be sure to drink a glass about 20 minutes before each meal to take the edge of your appetite.

4. EAT SLOWLY

When you swallow food, there’s a sizable delay before you feel any satiation from it. This delay is usually between 10–30 minutes. Because of this delay, we tend to eat more food than we really need. And the faster we eat, the more we tend to consume, particularly later on in a meal.

The solution: Chew each bite 10 times. Following this simple rule will cause you to eat more slowly, allowing your mind to catch up to your stomach. You’ll also enjoy your food more when you take the time to savor it. Preaching to myself here, as I still have plenty of work to do on this one!

5. HAVE A SMALL, FLAVORLESS SNACK BETWEEN MEALS

This trick was discovered by the late Seth Roberts: What he did was consume a shot of olive oil or a glass of water with a tiny bit of sugar (an exception to the rule on sugared beverages above) between meals. I prefer a handful of unsalted almonds. Doing this once a day dramatically reduced my appetite — this can be particularly true if you have a lot of weight to lose.

This is one of the weirdest things I’ve ever tried, but it worked for me. The reason this works: It apparently regulates ghrelin, a hunger hormone, by weakening flavor-calorie associations. For this to work, the snack must be bland, and you should consume nothing else but water for at least an hour before and after the snack. Other plain nuts or peanuts work well for this too.

6. TRY THE “FRONT DOOR SNACK TECHNIQUE’

This is one of my favorite body hacks. Knowing that your willpower is reduced when you’re hungry, and there’s more tempting junk food outside the home than in it, you should fill up on healthy food before leaving home. Keep a healthy snack, such as fruit, almonds or a Lara Bar, right next to your front door, and eat some before you leave home. This will cause healthy food to “crowd out” unhealthy food in your diet, and make it much easier to pass on the junk food.

If these don’t help, you may also consider the portion control containers and accompanying recipes & meal plans to help you regulate your food consumption. Each of these ideas takes a little effort, and a change in your mindset about food, but you are worth it!

Credit to John Fawkes and the Myfitnesspal Blog for doing the heavy lifting on this article.

faith, Personal Development

Live Beyond The Shame | Letter to My Son

December 2, 2020September 25, 2020 teamquadzilla

I’m sharing a series of “letters” originally written by Vince Miller. I regard Vince as a trusted resource for wisdom and insight on faith and family especially as it pertains to men and fathers. His bio is at the bottom of the post. Look him up. What follows is his work entirely. Vince communicates the messages I want my son to hear in a far more clear and concise way than I could ever say. Consider using these as conversation starters. I encourage you to share these letters with the important men in your life.

Son, there are points in every man’s life when he feels like he is not good enough. This is common to every man. Most bounce back from these momentary struggles with guilt, shame, and regret, but some will not. Some men will allow the quiet voice of self-criticism to take them to self-hatred and a lingering feeling of disappointment, discouragement, and disapproval that seeks to alter their identity. For some men, this will become paralyzing mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

A popular solution for those living in shame is focused self-improvement that strives to boost self-esteem. Coaching in this manner seeks to improve skills, competencies, mindsets, attitudes, perseverance, and endurance with the hope of seeing worth in yourself that dig you out of your self-criticism. But as you will learn, this is an insufficient solution. If this solution were sufficient for men, there would be no one living in perpetual and private shame. Yet men still do. And solutions of this sort ignore the fact that shame is rooted in a spiritual problem, needs a spiritual solution, and a renewed spiritual reality that is not manufactured merely by our mind.

So if you are dealing with shame, here is what you need to know about shame and how to live shamelessly.

There Was A Time Before Shame

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
Genesis 2:25

Can you imagine this utopia? A time before shame?

It must have been a beautiful state of freedom. Yet not long after this moment, sin came and shame and then a lot of blame. And ever since the fall of man, the same cycle continues. Sin, then shame, and then blame.

But can we attain what was lost in the garden?

The answer is yes, but we have to understand where shame gets its power.

Shame’s Power Comes From Sin

We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.
Romans 6:6

There is nothing more the Accuser, that’s Satan, would love than for a redeemed man to live in a state of self-criticism rather than in God’s true joy and freedom.

“We know,” the writer confidently states, but do men act as they know when they live in self-criticism and shame?

We might say we know, but if we don’t also behave and believe as we know, then do we know? And what is it that we should know—that we were crucified—notice the use of the past tense. This infers that the spiritual penance paid by Christ on the cross was good enough, even though we were not. His penance in the past alters our present state. This crucifixion nailed our body of sin, freeing us from the slavery of sin. If this is the case, then why do so many men act and believe they are enslaved? Why do we choose to believe our sin enslaves us when the present reality is so different?

This is where shame gets its power. It convinces redeemed men that God’s gift on the cross was not enough. It convinces redeemed men that they are never going to be enough. In our disbelief of God and his act on the cross, we choose to believe more in the voice of shame. No longer does the cross have power, but rather our shame.

But here is the truth.

You Are Not Put To Shame

For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.”
Romans 10:11

Sin and shame have no power over the regenerate believer. If Scripture is true—then shame was put off not put on. And while we did formerly live in a perpetual state of sin and thus shame, this is no longer the case. While as men, we occasionally sin, this is vastly different from the life of sin we once lived. Our spiritual state is changed, and we as men will spend the rest of our lives, realizing, understanding, and knowing this renewed state. Thus scripture is needed desperately to retrain a mind that believes the past more than the present. Our old ways, attitudes, and beliefs tend to persuade us to believe in old beliefs and belief systems. While some guilt and regret are good in moments of sin, they should drive us toward reconciliation and restoration, not to a state of shame that paralyzes us.

Our Present Reality Is Saved Not Shamed

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.
Galatians 2:20

The truth of these words are power to a man who lives in shame. The writer proclaims, “It is no longer I who live.” And this is not positive self-talk aimed at boosting a man’s self-esteem. It is embracing a belief in a new spiritual reality. Remember, self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-worth is merely human effort that is futile. The death and resurrection of Christ for mankind’s sin is not human effort—it’s divine salvation from the futile attempts of human effort. It is the redemption of sin that breaks the bondage of sin and the cycle of shame and blame.

Christ’s sacrifice was enough, but now we have a choice—to believe in Christ who lives within us or believe in the shame that so easily imprisons us.

If you are a follower of Christ, live free from shame, enjoy your freedom, and find joy in Christ’s life. Why live in self-condemnation, as a man set free? Don’t condemn yourself—God doesn’t when you are in Christ.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Romans 8:1

I love you son, Dad.

Vince Miller is an author and speaker to men around the world on topics that include manhood, masculinity, fatherhood, mentorship, and leadership. He has authored 18 different books for men and is hosted on major video platforms like RightNow Media and Faithlife TV. He hosts a weekly podcast, writes weekly articles, and provides daily thoughts from God’s Word all just for men. He is a 27-year ministry veteran and the founder of Resolute a Men’s Ministry Platform that provides bible studies aimed at building better men found at www.beresolute.org. See his latest study Men & Marriage: Overcoming 6 Unspoken Tensions.

Fitness, Nutrition

You Can’t Compete With What You Eat

November 18, 2020October 28, 2020 teamquadzilla

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The truth is that body transformation has more to do with what you eat than how much you exercise. The saying, “You can’t out work a bad diet,” is exactly true. I am living proof of that. During triathlon training a few years ago I experimented with different ‘diets’ – most of them were calorie based. The basic premise was to shove calories down my throat like garbage into the incinerator. Making fire for sure, but not burning efficiently at all. In fact, my physical shape did not change at all even though I was swimming, biking, and running 10-13 hrs/ week! If you really want to see changes in how you look and feel from the inside out, you gotta get the food part right.

Ugh. I know. It’s so hard. Cookies…

Here are a few things I’ve learned so far on my journey:
1. Remember: FOOD IS FUEL! Your results are dependent upon how well you fuel your body. Don’t think of food as a reward or use it for comfort. That’s a hard habit to break! Recognize your weakest time of the day and plan ahead for it.

2. Several smaller meals allow you to better absorb nutrients and keep your blood sugar steady. Try to eat three meals a day, with two or three snacks in between. Yay! Snacks!

3. Here’s a good one:
Eat Less CRAP:
Carbonated drinks
Refined sugar
Artificial sweeteners and sugars
Processed foods

Eat More FOOD:
Fruits and veggies
Organic lean proteins
Omega-3 fatty acids
Drink water

4. DON’T GIVE UP!
One bad meal does not ruin you, just as much as one good meal would change you. It’s all about CONSISTENCY OVER TIME. Put the bad meal behind you and KEEP GOING. It will take time, but I promise it will pay off!

5.For additional meal ideas, visit my recipe section on my website, search “clean eating recipes” on Pinterest, and be sure to check out my favorite clean eating resource at 90/10 Nutrition!
CLEAN EATING just means taking out all of the additives to processed food; eating food in it’s purest form. Changing just a few things here and there in my family’s diet has made a huge difference!

faith, Family

A Marriage Prayer

November 11, 2020October 15, 2020 teamquadzilla

A while ago I wrote the following notes in my journal. I am compelled to share it with you in hopes that it will encourage you as it does me. Marriage is hard work and we desperately need the Lord’s help to love well.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for loving me with an everlasting love. Thank you for displaying that love to me long before I did anything in response to it. Teach me to love like this. Teach me to love like Jesus. My wife is a gift from you and I will love her as the best gift I have ever received. Give me creativity in the ways I can pursue her romantically. Give me strength to hold her up when she is tired. Give me eyes to see when she needs my attention. Give me ears to hear her heart. Give me the words to speak life into her. Help me to choose love even when things get hard. In Jesus name Amen.

What follows is my personal, raw commentary on the work of loving like Jesus in marriage. Where I use Angie in the text, please insert your spouse’s name and see if it makes the notes more personal to you.

Loving Angie will at times be inconvenient to my flesh. Love her anyways. Loving Angie will at times not make sense because she hurt me. Love her anyways. Loving Angie will at times be a challenge because she does not respond to it the way I expect. Love her anyways. When my marriage feels broken, love her anyways.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. – Ephesians 5:25-33

Only God can give me the strength to love Angie unconditionally. My motivation to love must come from an intimate relationship with God. My love for Angie is motivated by His love for me.

When I find myself struggling to love and care for Angie, it should raise a red flag in my mind to take a sober self-assessment. I bet that my struggle is more about me than her. I have taken my eye off Jesus and his incredible love for me. Jesus’s kind of love has given me literally everything while still being a wretched sinner in desperate need of a savior.

When I put into perspective how Jesus loves me, how he willingly sacrificed himself by violent death on a Roman cross while I literally spit in his face with my selfishness, pride, and sinful rebellion, and how he continues to bless me though I can do nothing to deserve his favor, I find that when I actually receive that love from Jesus I am compelled to love in return. Not because I feel duty or obligation, but because my soul is filled to overflowing. Out of the abundance of love I have received I give to others. I can patiently and graciously endure rejection, stubbornness, harsh words, etc. and truly give without expecting anything in return. All that to say, and I don’t mean to simplify the key to loving relationship, but the truth is that when we can see Jesus, ourselves, and our life circumstances like this, we can love others well.

The bottom line is that when I’m not feeling like loving well, or I feel like I’m not being loved by others so I can’t love in return, I really need to take a breath, search my heart, and refocus from me to Jesus. Simple, but really hard sometimes. This is a mental and spiritual exercise that is strengthened with practice and perfected only after death. We are all a work in progress, but if we can wrap our minds around these ideas, we will gain traction in our relationships.

Another way to say it is that when I think another is unlovable because of their behavior, I should be very careful that I’m not judging them more harshly than I want God to judge me. In comparison to God’s holy perfection, I am a terrible wretch. If I do not see myself this way, I am deceived and my self-righteousness is sin proving my need for a savior. Jesus is our example we are called to follow. He loves despite my fears, faults, and failures, so I can do the same for others.

Not seeing the enormous gap between my depravity and God’s holiness is making God too small. Yet despite this gap, Jesus bridges it with his own sacrifice for our sake. He makes us saints before the almighty, holy God of the universe. That’s pretty cool. This is why we should preach the gospel to ourselves everyday. It keeps the focus on Jesus and not ourselves, enabling us to love others well. So there you have it, the solution to loving relationships is to simply preach the gospel to yourself.